Do you ever feel like you were meant for so much more, but your insecurities, doubts, lack of confidence, and past failures leave you paralyzed?
If so, I’m right there with you. In fact, that’s exactly where I am right now.
There was a time in my life when I had confidence in myself. Failure didn’t scare me—it never even occurred to me that failure was an option. For a long time, I thought that was a good thing. But lately, I’ve started to wonder if it was actually a survival instinct.
Failure couldn’t be an option in my past. I had to make things work because I had to take care of myself. I didn’t have a safety net to fall back on.
The day I turned 18 and graduated high school, I was on my own. Every decision I made after that was about survival—doing whatever needed to be done to keep moving forward. I always believed I was simply driven, motivated, and willing to work hard. And maybe that’s true. But I also think much of it came from a scarcity mindset rather than one of abundance.
Now, I’m in my fifties, and my life no longer reflects scarcity. My husband and I have built a full life together. I don’t have to worry about how to pay the bills, put food on the table, or where I’m going to live. God has blessed us, and I am deeply grateful.
And yet, I still live with this underlying fear that everything could disappear in an instant. That scarcity mindset still lingers.
Right now, I’m preparing to close a chapter of my life by stepping away from a business I’ve been responsible for over the past ten years. I’m more than ready to let it go. It was never truly my passion, but it was my responsibility.
I have looked forward to this season for a long time—the opportunity to pursue the passions and dreams that have been sitting quietly inside me for years. And yet, here I am, feeling completely paralyzed. Unable to dream. Unable to picture what comes next. It feels as though the driven, motivated, go-getter side of me has disappeared.
But maybe, as uncomfortable as it feels, God is doing a deeper work in me.
Maybe before He opens the next door, He wants to rewire my heart and mind to trust Him more fully—to truly believe that He is in control, that He will never leave me, and that He will always provide.
Maybe if I can fully surrender my life to Him, let go of my scarcity mindset, and embrace a mindset of abundance, I can finally become who He created me to be.
This time, the goals and dreams won’t be driven by survival. They’ll be driven by purpose. By faith. By His glory instead of my fear.
His words are my truth. I do not have to live in fear. I can live in peace, knowing His promises are true.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11
Unpolished Truth 